How Do We Build a Relationship With Allah?
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قُرْب (Qurb) — Drawing Near to Allah
Book I · Knowing Allah — Article 24 of 25
Opening Reflection
Many people believe in Allah but feel that they barely know Him. They pray, yet the prayer feels distant. They make دُعَاء (du'a) mainly during crisis. They know religious information but struggle to experience worship as a living return to their Lord.
Can a person have a relationship with Allah? Yes — if the phrase is understood correctly. It is not a relationship between equals, nor does it mean Allah is part of creation. It is the relationship between the perfect Creator and His dependent servant: a relationship of worship, love, knowledge, remembrance, trust, repentance, and response.
وَإِذَا سَأَلَكَ عِبَادِي عَنِّي فَإِنِّي قَرِيبٌ ۚ أُجِيبُ دَعْوَةَ الدَّاعِ إِذَا دَعَانِ
When My servants ask you about Me, indeed I am near. I answer the call of the caller when they call upon Me.
— Quran 2:186
Imam al-Sa'di رحمه الله wrote in his tafsir that this verse is placed between the verses of رَمَضَان (Ramadan) deliberately — to teach that fasting and worship are not merely rituals of discipline, but pathways of nearness to a Lord who is already close and already listening.
Begin by Knowing Him
You cannot deeply love, trust, or worship One you have made little effort to know. Learn Allah through His Names and attributes, the Quran, the teachings of Prophet Mohammed ﷺ, His signs in creation, and reflection upon His guidance and care.
Do not build your understanding of Allah solely from childhood experiences, harsh people, or painful events. People can misrepresent religion. Allah tells us who He is through revelation. Ibn al-Qayyim رحمه الله wrote in Madarij al-Salikin that knowledge of Allah is the foundation of every station on the path — and that the servant's love, fear, hope, and trust are all proportional to how well they know Him.
صَلَاة (Salah) Is the Center
The five daily prayers are repeated appointments with Allah. They interrupt the illusion that worldly tasks are ultimate. Again and again, the servant leaves creation, faces the قِبْلَة (qiblah), and says اللهُ أَكْبَر (Allahu Akbar — Allah is greater).
Closeness is not built by searching for extraordinary feelings while neglecting صَلَاة (salah). In the حَدِيث قُدْسِيّ (hadith qudsi), Allah says:
"My servant does not draw near to Me with anything more beloved to Me than what I have made obligatory upon them."
— Sahih al-Bukhari 6502
Begin with the obligations. Then add voluntary deeds.
Speak to Allah Through دُعَاء (Du'a)
دُعَاء (Du'a) does not require impressive vocabulary. Use the supplications of the Quran and سُنَّة (Sunnah), and speak honestly in your own language outside the fixed recitations of formal prayer. Tell Allah what you fear, desire, regret, and cannot understand. He already knows, but admitting dependence is itself worship. A relationship weakens when communication appears only in emergencies. Call upon Allah in ease so the heart knows where to turn in hardship.
Listen Through the Quran
دُعَاء (Du'a) is the servant speaking to Allah. The Quran is Allah's revealed speech guiding the servant. Do not read only to finish pages. Ask: What does this teach me about Allah? What does He love or dislike? What promise or warning is here? What must change in me?
Relationship without revelation can become a conversation with one's own imagination. The Quran protects closeness from becoming self-invented spirituality.
Remember Him Often — ذِكْر (Dhikr)
أَلَا بِذِكْرِ اللَّهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ الْقُلُوبُ
Surely, in the remembrance of Allah hearts find comfort.
— Quran 13:28
ذِكْر (Dhikr) includes prescribed phrases such as سُبْحَانَ اللهِ (SubhanAllah), الْحَمْدُ للهِ (Alhamdulillah), اللهُ أَكْبَر (Allahu Akbar), and لَا إِلَٰهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ (La ilaha illa Allah). It also includes remembering Allah's commands and presence throughout life.
The purpose is not racing through enormous numbers while the heart remains absent. Quantity has virtue where taught, but understanding and consistency matter. Ibn al-Qayyim رحمه الله wrote in Al-Wabil al-Sayyib that ذِكْر (dhikr) is the nourishment of the heart — and that a heart deprived of it is like a body deprived of food.
تَوْبَة (Tawbah) Restores Closeness
Sin can darken the heart, but تَوْبَة (tawbah — repentance) reopens the road. Do not interpret guilt as proof that Allah no longer wants you. Healthy guilt says, "Return." Despair says, "Hide." The first comes with guidance; the second serves شَيْطَان (Shaytan).
إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ التَّوَّابِينَ وَيُحِبُّ الْمُتَطَهِّرِينَ
Indeed, Allah loves those who constantly repent and loves those who purify themselves.
— Quran 2:222
Your relationship with Allah is not maintained by pretending you never fail. It is maintained by refusing to make failure your permanent home.
Hidden Worship Creates Intimacy
Public worship may contain social encouragement. Hidden worship reveals whom you seek when no one praises you. Create a deed known only to Allah: a private صَدَقَة (sadaqah — charity), two رَكْعَة (rak'ah — units of prayer) before dawn, a secret دُعَاء (du'a) for someone, a sin left when no one would discover it, or Quran read without announcement. The hidden life of the heart often determines the truth of the visible one.
Closeness Is Not Always a Feeling
There will be spiritually bright days and dry days. Do not measure Allah's nearness solely by emotion. A person may feel moved while disobeying, and another may feel little while faithfully persevering. Feelings are gifts, not foundations. Revelation, obligation, sincerity, and consistency are more reliable measures. Sometimes continuing to worship without emotional reward is proof that you seek Allah, not merely spiritual pleasure.
Remove What Creates Distance
Common barriers include persistent unrepented sin, delayed صَلَاة (salah), unlawful income, constant entertainment, arrogance, resentment and injustice, and religious performance for people. Do not attempt to add endless worship while protecting the very habit that repeatedly poisons the heart. Sometimes growth requires addition. Sometimes it requires removal.
A Simple Daily Pattern
After waking: praise Allah and set one sincere نِيَّة (niyyah — intention) for the day.
At every صَلَاة (salah): slow down for at least one portion and understand what you say.
Daily Quran: read a manageable amount with meaning, not just recitation.
Morning and evening: recite authentic أَذْكَار (adhkar) from the Sunnah.
During the day: connect blessings and difficulties to Allah's Names.
Before sleep: review the day, repent, forgive where possible, and entrust tomorrow to Allah.
Consistency is more transformative than occasional intensity.
Questions for Reflection
- Is your understanding of Allah based on revelation or mainly on people's behavior?
- Do you speak to Allah only during crisis?
- Which obligation most needs repair?
- What hidden deed could belong only to Allah?
- Which habit is creating the greatest spiritual distance?
A Duʿa for Nearness to Allah
اللَّهُمَّ أَعِنِّي عَلَىٰ ذِكْرِكَ وَشُكْرِكَ وَحُسْنِ عِبَادَتِكَ
(Allāhumma a'innī 'alā dhikrika wa shukrika wa ḥusni 'ibādatik)
O Allah, help me to remember You, thank You, and worship You beautifully.
— Sunan Abi Dawud 1522; Sunan an-Nasa'i 1303
O Allah — You are closer to us than we realize and more ready to receive us than we believe. Do not let us spend our lives knowing about You without knowing You. Open our hearts to Your Quran, our tongues to Your ذِكْر (dhikr), our hands to Your عِبَادَة (worship), and our souls to Your nearness. Ameen.
A Final Reflection
Closeness to Allah is not found through one dramatic moment. It is built through thousands of sincere returns. One صَلَاة (salah) guarded. One sin left. One page understood. One private دُعَاء (du'a). One wrong repaired. One morning begun with His Name.
Do not wait for a perfect heart before approaching Allah. Approach Him faithfully, and let the journey reshape the heart.
Next: Article 25 — The Meeting With Allah: Preparing to Return
Further Reading
- Ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawziyyah, Madarij al-Salikin — on knowledge of Allah as the foundation of every station on the path
- Ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawziyyah, Al-Wabil al-Sayyib — on ذِكْر (dhikr) as the nourishment of the heart
- Ibn Kathir, Tafsir Ibn Kathir — commentary on Quran 2:186, 2:222 and 13:28
- Al-Sa'di, Tafsir al-Sa'di — commentary on Quran 2:186 and 13:28
Sources
- Quran 2:186, 2:222, 13:28
- Sahih al-Bukhari 6502
- Sunan Abi Dawud 1522
- Sunan an-Nasa'i 1303
- Ibn al-Qayyim, Madarij al-Salikin and Al-Wabil al-Sayyib
- Ibn Kathir, Tafsir Ibn Kathir
- Al-Sa'di, Tafsir al-Sa'di
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